Just when you think Jacobson is going to make a point or reach a conclusion, he finds yet another tragically obvious way to get totally lost.
— Sir Franklin Johns, Professor Emeritus of English, Queen Maud Gulf College
I don’t know why Jacobson thinks this is poetry. It’s just the convoluted meanderings of a distracted troglodyte. Doesn’t this guy have anything better to do?
— Feelius Upham, Senior Editor, Inside Poetry Weekly
What you are reading here is not poetry. At best, Jacobson has created a sequence of incoherent and unrelated sentences that start nowhere and go nowhere.
— Mona Topia, Board President, Buzzkill Magazine
Wait, this stuff is supposed to be poetry? I’ve seen soccer hooligans write better poetry on urinal walls.
— Kara Laptev, Poet in Residence, East Kenilworth University.
This poetry is about as scintillating as weather channel reruns. The author can’t even manage an inferiority complex because his inferiority is too simple.
— Ceta Famembert, Editor-in-Chief, The Cheddarer
The lack of clarity, logic and reason in the words and thoughts set in these pages by Eliot Jacobson leaves little doubt that humanity is doomed.
— Michael Suremer, Editor-in-Chief, Elliptical Inspirer Magazine
Embark on a journey of poetic discovery. Come for the depressing observations, stay for the objectionable opinions, and leave before you get to the limericks.
–Dorothy Gayle, Staff Writer, Kansas Ledger Daily
Some things are overpriced even when they are free. Some things that are seen cannot been unseen. I used to think cerebral assault is not a thought crime but after reading Jacobson’s poetry now I am not so sure.
–Oren Georgewell, Author and Futurist
It’s clear Jacobson suffers from TWS (terrible writer syndrome) and should get professional help. Wait! When did we let him out?
— Figmund Oz, Chief Psychiatric Officer, Quantum Polarity Institute
I mean, who let this guy get in front of a keyboard? Isn’t anyone paying attention?
— John Swanker, Lieutenant, Santa Rogereo Police